oh my gosh you guys
today in art 120, my intro to design class
our professor asked us to ‘draw a picture of a creature riding a bike’ to get to know us
and when he said creature I thought he meant like, monster, that kind of thing
and about a minute in I look around
and the three other people at my table have drawn an elephant, a squirrel, and another elephant, respectively
and I’ve drawn
A HUMAN CENTIPEDE RIDING A BICYCLE
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
Taylor Swift has dated 14 boys in the last 4 years. If not for the sheer number of boys, this might be unremarkable. But dear reader, look closer: what is 14 divided by 4? 3 and a half. Every year, Taylor Swift dates 3 and a half boys. Where are the other halves, Taylor? It just doesn’t add up.
- has no chill
- has too much chill
- needs to shut the fuck up
- won't stop crying
- keeps checking the mirror
- talks while you listen to your fave song ????
- wears too much makeup
- has a boner
- probably snorts paprika for fun
- cleans too much or not enough
- ditches babies
- needs rehab
Gary’s Sex Tips #1002
If she calls out her ex boyfriend’s name in bed go to his house and kiss him. See what the dick about! See what all the fuss is about!
Actual conversation at a party last night
- Dude are you a real punk or a fake punk?
- I, um. I-I don't care?
- *turns to his friend* Dude he said he doesn't care that means he's a real punk hi I'm Doug nice to meet you